Mindfulness Meditation: Overcoming Anxiety and Lifelong Phobia

It's 'just' ...an injection, a little spider, a snake, a dentist visit, a bit of anxiety, a bit of depression ... 'Snap out of it!' 'Get over it!'

Actually, it's real, it's raw and it's relative to you!

Apparently there's only two fears we are born with: the fear of heights and the fear of loud noises. Everything else is a learnt behaviour.

This is the real, the raw me ...

Now, at some point way, way in my past, I developed a crippling phobia of needles. I'm not talking about a bit of an aversion; but more full on panic attacks, fainting and basically running away from nurses as quick as I could: not such a good trait to have when your own mum was actually a nurse! Safe to say I wasn't going to follow that career path myself!

Now Dad on the other hand, he had a big disliking to needles, and didn't particularly hide it, why should he? He was crippled with the fear, and wasn't afraid to show his emotions in that way. Did I pick up the fear from here? Maybe? My twin, shared the same phobia, our minds being so closely linked; Injection day at school always ended up with us being sent home after and spending the afternoon either end of the sofa with mum looking after us!

Years passed and I spent most of them trying to avoid any visits to the doctors, in fear of being sent for 'routine bloodtests' just to see how things are.

Then the Covid Pandemic struck. Now, with the incredible work of doctors, a new vaccine was developed. The rollout was announced in January 2021, and basically at that moment I went into a big downward spiral, fearing what was to come.

This is an irrational fear, the irony that the needle is there for the greater good, yet my flight mode was majorly activated.

However, things were different this time. I had begun my own Compass Journey and, as part of that I had studied Mindfulness Meditation, the practice of 'Being in the Moment' of witnessing our emotions, but not becoming them; to simply breathe. Inhale. Exhale.

Could it be possible to use these techniques to overcome fear, anxiety, extreme phobias?

I began mediating daily, witnessing emotions and allowing them to pass like waves, ebbing and flowing.

Imagine a highway of cars, each one representing a particular feeling - now you can either hitchhike and get into that car and become the emotion, or you can sit back on the hillside and watch as they drift passed in each direction.

This week in particular, being Mental Health Awareness Week, it seems so apt that I was now facing this phobia, this anxiety, head on.

Today, I have my Covid Jab appointment.

This picture is of me, in my rawest form, preparing to go. I basically pre-empted my usual thought processes of let's run, this is bad, I have to get out, here comes the panic attack, room spinning, and blackout. I had to counteract this and to break the cycle.

And how did I prepare:
Deep breathes. Inhale. Exhale.
Listening to calming music.
Lavender drops on my face covering.
Hot cup of tea with plenty of sugar to counteract the possibility of fainting afterwards.

I had already reached out to incredible friends and family, talked through my prep and plans, gained reassurance, self belief and determination.

I DID IT! No fuss. No fainting.

The point of this post, is the fact that no matter what your anxiety, fear, phobia is ... it is real: it is raw: it is relative to you.

Do not let any one dismiss, downgrade or tell you differently ... your feelings are valid. You do not need to become them.

I did not overcome a 40 year plus phobia overnight, there was alot of ground work, small steps; and it will continue to be a lifelong  journey of self improvement, self belief and self care.

Remembering, there may be little stumbles in the road ahead,  but that by no means, means the end of the journey. This is just the beginning...

There is strength in reaching out for help.

You do not need to fight battles alone, speak out, and those that can help will come.

You never know what someone else is going through, so be kind to others and to yourself. Seize opportunities for growth; reaffirm your inner strength. Believe. Breathe.

Much love
Leanne